So boy 1 didn’t quite get the grade for our first choice grammar school. He was 2 marks short! Whilst I’d prepared myself for the likelihood of him not getting in, knowing the odds weren’t in his favour, I never considered a situation where he’d be soooo close. So now my realistic, pragmatic, balanced thought process seems to have gone out the window. I can’t help wondering ‘what if?’.

What if he’d gone to bed earlier the night before the exam?

What if I’d made him have a more substantial breakfast that morning?

What if I’d got home from work a little earlier each day?

What if we’d practised a little bit more?

What if I’d eased off on extra curricular activities for the year to prep?

What if we hadn’t put him through the process in the first place?

But then I stop and think, what if that’s the best he could do? He worked bloody hard and we cant control what happens on the day. So in all honesty I’m proud that he did his best. He didn’t fail. He just didn’t get the mark required by one individual school.

I need to check my privilege. I need to remember that he will still go to a very good school, because we are lucky to have so many on our doorstep to choose from. There are parents in other parts of the country who know their only option is substandard school. Regardless of how bright their child is, they’ll have more reason to be worrying about the environment their child will be educated in, the influences they’ll have and how other people might judge them just because of where they have been educated.

Unlike many of the people where we live, they can’t just afford to move house to be nearer to an outstanding school.

What if I was a mother in that position?

So I’m not going to worry or wonder ‘what if’ but focus on what is, and be thankful that I’ve been in a position to give my child these opportunities and work out how to make him appreciate what he has.

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