Dear Boy2,

Tomorrow is your first birthday. I can’t believe it. In just one short year you’ve changed our little family so much more than you’ll ever know. You’ve changed me! I always promised myself I’d treat my children exactly the same, but as our second born, I want you to know I’m sorry.

I’m sorry people always ask me how you compare to your brother

I’m sorry you have to spend a good part of your weekends being carted around in a buggy whilst we chauffeur your brother to his various clubs

I’m sorry you don’t get bedtime stories every single night because sometimes you are rushed to bed after food and homework

I’m sorry you rarely get one-to-one snuggles in the morning, but are squished between your brother and I

I’m sorry our leisurely mother and baby days are restricted to school hours

I’m sorry I didn’t refer to a single cook book when you were weaning, just improvisation and a little bit of knowledge

I’m sorry you were introduced to sugary, salty foods so much sooner than your big brother

I’m sorry I didn’t religiously go for your weekly weigh-in at the well-baby clinic for the first year of your life. You have put on weight though!

I’m sorry I don’t rush to the GP every time you have a slight cough. It’s not that I don’t care, I just know there’s very little a doctor could do to treat ‘a virus’, but my cuddles and kisses will nurse you better

But I’m not sorry that you will have a different perspective on life, being able to learn from your big brother

I’m not sorry we didn’t spend your first nine months tied to a hectic schedule of classes and groups in leisure centres and cold church halls, but opted for experiences and operated at our pace

I’m not sorry you’ve entered the world with a much more confident mother who follows her instinct more and outside advice less

I’m not sorry you are still a happy, healthy baby who is loved just as much as his big brother, who also adores you.

I’m not sorry that I’ve loved the rollercoaster of your first year and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it.

x